Fighting The Cocaine Demons!
Posted: Friday, July 06, 2007
by Bob Alexander
http://www.bluemarlinbob.com
"What part of this story am I expected to believe?" I asked myself. When I asked my son what he was doing out here at night he laughed and said, "I was on my way to your house when I remembered that I had a chicken in the oven and if I didn't get back to my apartment it would burn, so I headed back home!"
That certainly makes sense, doesn't it? When I mentioned the leather tool belt he was wearing, he told me that he was broke and out of food; the tool belt was to carry food from my house to his. I didn't bother to ask where the chicken came from if he was broke. His answer, I'm sure, would have been great. The sad truth is that in his mind he wasn't lying. He actually thought that the nonsense he'd told me was the truth. Tomorrow morning if he was straight, he would remember little of our conversation.
I should mention that our son is 40 years old and has fought cocaine demons for at least half that many years. Unfortunately he has rarely won any of those battles and certainly not the war. His mother and I have gotten to the point that except for a few instances like this middle of the night call, we do not help him any longer. I shouldn't even have left the house, but after all, he's still our son. We've learned though, that we're really not doing him any favors by coming to his aid.
After getting dressed, I found him two blocks from the house, with his bicycle in two pieces and with his front tire flat. He greeted me as if it were perfectly normal for him to have wrecked his bike at midnight on a dark and lonely street a couple of blocks from the house, with eyes so bloodshot that they looked like red traffic lights. Whatever it was that he was high on, it made him talk fast, laugh a lot and sincerely believe that anything he said was a perfectly plausible.
Our son has averaged four jobs a year for the last ten years. He has no trouble finding jobs, keeping them is something altogether different. He's very good at whatever employment he takes, but inevitably goes on a binge after a couple of months and misses work for a week. Then he's fired. The same thing happens time and time again.
He's been through drug addiction clinics, therapy sessions and even short jail terms when whatever endeavor he was in turned sour. He's had help from friends, family and even strangers who saw in him something that spurred their compassion. Nothing has worked. More than likely one day we'll find him dead, either of an overdose or through the malice of drug dealers.
This story is not an uncommon one; it seems to be in every community and city in this country now. It seems that no one today is exempt from losing someone they care about, to the demons of either alcohol or drugs. Even former Vice President Al Gore's son was arrested this week on drug charges. Everyone has their drug problems. Folks who think that their family has been spared the wrath of the drug gods are probably fooling themselves. We're all affected in some way by drug abuse!
I don't have the answer. I'm not nearly smart enough to find a solution to a problem that has buffaloed the sharpest minds in the world. I can only do what I can for our son. Maybe if every family would do what they can for their loved ones, we wouldn't have such a huge problem, but then doing our best hasn't helped him a lot.
Bob Alexander is well experienced in outdoor cooking, fishing and leisure living. Bob is also the author and owner of this article. Visit his sites at:
http://www.redfishbob.com http://www.redfishbob.com http://www.redfishbob.com
http://www.bluemarlinbob.com
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)Yes, Bob, unfortunately, in these days many people have been touched by addiction in one way or another. Our family sadly has been affected by the demons of drug addiction as well and for the sake of my little girl and our family, I had to make some really tough decisions. My heart and prayers go to you. Thank you for sharing this personal story; maybe it will help someone.
hi bob, this was a very good, truthful, and pertinent story you wrote. and a hard article, i'm sure, to write. i've been surrounded by family and friends who have drug or alcohol problems. i know the signs, the symptoms, the acts they perform under the influence, the money stolen, the late night beggar calls, the jail calls, and 2 weeks ago, the call that my brother tried to kill himself-which was a cry for help, he doesn't really want to die, he just doesn't want to live the way he is right now. is that my fault? no, it is not. i love him, he is my brother, but he is 45, and he needs help. right now, i hope, he's still in th clinic they sent him to. my kids are out their in the biggest drug access period of our time, since anyone can get anything at any time, and my kids have experimented, against every law, philosophy, and example i gave them. and they are only 20 and 21. they had to "try it." i have been in recovery for 13 years, i know what it takes, both to be an alcoholic, and to be someone who helps other alcoholics. unless someone is ready to do the work, the very hard work, of therapy, and getting to the core of their problems they're trying to cover up, it's not a positive result. i pray your son decides one of these days that he's sick and tired of being sick and tired, and finds a better way. best regards, sue thom p.s. as to the answer? education in school from a young age. and education provided by state police, or police, who deal with this every day, and can tell horror stories, and hopefully, have a car wreck right up their on the auditorium stage with him, and the parents and the sibling of the kids killed. we're not dealing with this problem agressively enough. we need other 12 step members to guide these kids-they help adults-they helped me after 20 years of drinking, but we can't get them into the schools. we can't smoke in a restaurant, but we can go in, excuse ourselves, go to the ladies room, snort some coke, go back, drink 2 bottles of wine, and drive home. it truly is an epidemic that nobody wants to talk about. i tried getting recovery meetings in the schools, and was ignored by the principal, vice principal, and a counselor, i wrote long letters explaining what i think should be done, as kids are walking around thier halls, and in their classrooms high on one thing or another, and they never even responded. i wrote my mayor, congressman, senator, and governor. are there recovery meetings in the schools? no. are there kids drunk, stoned, and on speed and pills and heroin walking around and in the classrooms? yes. thank you for your article. too bad more people didn't band together to try and help these people who are not evil, they are just addicted to things they need help to get unaddicted from, and that means therapy. some fear is making them do what they're doing, and they have to find out what that is, face it, deal with it, and move on. best regards, sue thom
Thanks for your thoughts..........we are thinking of you and your struggle as a parent.
Tragic and powerful. I think it's harder being a parent and watching your children fall down than to fall down yourself. I hope some day your son wins his fight with his inner demons and picks himself up for good!
Bob, Powerful article. Don't give up on your son.
Bob, It has been 9 months since you wrote your article. I can only pray that things have improved for your son and family. Kimberly
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